And We All Fall Down
by luvscharlie
Summary: Their house in Godric Hollow isn't quite what Lily had in mind for her family, but if it keeps them safe, then she will do her best to make it a home. James/Lily


_**And We All Fall Down **_**by Luvscharlie**

_**Author's Notes/Warnings:**_A bit of suggestiveness and adult language. Angst. Canon character deaths. Written for Prompt # 85. _When she whispered, "What was that?"/"The wind, I think, 'cause no one else knows where we are."_- Animals by Nickelback  
at the lilyjames_fest on Live Journal. The title for this story is stolen from a very old (shut up!) song called "Toy Soldier" by Martika.

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When she whispered, "What was that?"  
"The wind, I think, 'cause no one else knows where we are."

- Animals by Nickelback

* * *

"I don't like it here," Lily whispered. "It's dark and dusty and I think Harry will be scared if we stay here." She stroked her sleeping child's tuft of dark hair, felt him wriggle against her at the contact and then settle back down to slumber on her shoulder.

"We'll be safe in this house," James said. "That's what's most important—keeping you and Harry safe, protected. Besides," he said, chucking her under the chin before reaching to pull a cloth away which was draped over what Lily presumed was the kitchen table, "this is a great house. It just needs a little love and care." He was swiftly interrupted by a fit of coughing and spluttering as the dust from the draping-cloth clouded around his head. "And dusting," he said between hacking coughs. "It _does_ need a bit of dusting."

Lily couldn't help but laugh at him. He was trying so hard… and failing rather adorably to "sell" their new house to her.

James continued with, "You'll be amazed at how quick you come to love it here, Lils. You will. Don't worry."

She only hoped James was right. But, it sounded as though he was trying to convince himself of the "greatness" of this house as much as he was trying to convince her. Since she'd been told about this prophecy business, she'd been tense and uneasy—impossible to please, if she was being totally honest. This new information that the Order had intercepted meant Harry was in danger, and Harry meant everything. Lily had never understood, prior to having a child of her own, what it truly meant to put someone else's well-being above your own. But now—well now, she understood that all too well... and it was terrifying.

She put away their clothing and Harry's toys, cleaned the floors, removed the cough-inducing dust and even hung some smiling and waving photographs of family and friends upon the stark walls. She did her best to make their little cottage in Godric's Hollow a home for her family. But more and more the prophecy weighed on her mind, and with every doom-filled thought, and the passage of each day, their little home became more and more a prison.

James did his best to be cheerful. He put on a false happy face and whistled cheerfully when he came down for breakfast toting Harry on his hip. It was hard to believe that they'd been in their little house already for several months. It was yet another Tuesday morning, though the days became harder and harder to keep track of, and Lily was standing at the rather temperamental cooker, with a spatula in hand, keeping a close watch on the eggs in the pan. She was just about ready to put eggs onto a platter when James swept by her planting a kiss on her cheek, on his way to putting Harry into his baby seat.

"Your men are starving, woman. Feed us!" James demanded.

Lily turned, hand on hip. "Unless you would like to receive your eggs as a fashion statement rather than a meal, I'd suggest you get _your_ son a bottle and get the plates from the cupboard. Oh, and silver this time on the table would be nice. No eating with our hands, um-kay? I don't think that's too much to ask."

James grinned and retrieved Harry's bottle, stopping long enough on his trip to the cupboard to pluck it into Harry's eager mouth.

"Surely you jest. You'd never make me wear my eggs now would you, Lil?" He took the silver from the drawer and shook his head with a snort. "Silly waste of time," he muttered.

"Try me, you prat." She waved the spatula with intended menace.

"That's the spirit. I was starting to worry that you were going to wander around this house gloomy all the time. You were becoming a real downer. Not the girl I married at all."

"Things have changed," she said when James wrapped an arm around her waist. She took a precious moment to rest her head against his chest.

Lily noted that she could hear, and feel, James take a ragged breath and he swallowed hard. He was just as fearful as she was, no matter how he tried to hide it. She knew him far better than that, though she was grateful for the efforts he was making in keeping their little family safe and trying to do so in a light-hearted manner.

James was making an effort, and she made a promise to herself to try and meet him halfway. After all, this was to be their home for who knew how long. If staying here, as no more than prisoners really, would keep Harry hidden from those who were hell bent on doing him harm, then it was well worth it. She pasted on a smile as fake as any clown could wear and gifted her husband with false cheer. "Of course," she said, "I do believe these eggs would be preferable to that horrible shirt you're wearing. Perhaps, a fashion improvement is in order!" she jested.

"This was a gift from my mother!" James acted offended and poked her playfully in the ribs.

"You have just argued my point for me, darling." Lily gave him a saccharine smile as she turned in his arms, and pursed her lips at him. He responded by planting a kiss on her mouth at just the moment Harry gurgled. "See," she said, "even Harry agrees." She plucked a recently scrambled egg from the plate and lobbed it at James's head where it landed with a resounding "kersplat" and slid down to settle in his collar, leaving a streak of egg goop on his glasses that made Lily laugh with glee—a true laugh, none of the stuff that required so much effort. It was a rare interlude in their new lives.

"You are so going to pay for that!" James squealed, giving chase as Lily ran at breakneck speed towards the stairs. He caught her on the fourth step and pulled her down, tugging her arms over her head and kissing her thoroughly, as he squished bits of egg all down the front of her shirt and into her hair.

He stood up, mostly clean of egg parts, and looked down proudly at his handy-work. "Egg is a good look on you. You might actually have something there with that fashion statement thing. I think husbands everywhere would be in agreement. Besides, now that you're wearing it, I can think of nothing more appealing than taking you up to the bedroom and having my breakfast in bed."

"Oh, that is just disgusting," Sirius said, causing both James and Lily to squeak at the startling new voice in the house. Sirius had Harry up on his shoulder patting the chubby baby's back and bouncing him good-naturedly. "My godson does not need to see this kind of behaviour. You two should be ashamed. You are parents now, and this is not how parents behave. His poor little ears, having to hear that kind of lewd behaviour—honestly, I don't even know what to—"

"Shut it, Padfoot," James said, but Lily noted that he said it while wearing a wide smile. They were being so careful these days that visits from Sirius were rare, and James had missed him so.

"Oh good," Sirius said with a familiar cheeky grin. "I wasn't sure how much longer I could continue to sound appalled instead of turned on. A chore, that."

Lily stood and smacked him in the back of the head. "Not in front of the baby," she scolded as she made her way back over towards the table.

"Says the woman who was in pre-fuck mode there on the stairs," Sirius retorted.

That statement earned Sirius a sharp glare, but Lily was too happy to see him to be terribly harsh with him. "Behave yourself," she warned, then went to the cupboard to retrieve another plate for their guest.

"I'm sorry to say, I can't stay," Sirius said, but he took a seat at the table and his friends joined him. "I took a chance by coming here, and one that was probably rather foolish, but I have something to tell you that can't wait."

Lily watched James's smile fade and the all too familiar lines of concern that etched his forehead troubled her. "How bad?" was James's only reply.

"Well, we don't really know yet. That's the thing. Dumbledore is convinced there's a spy among us, and there's been some talk which has made it back to him." Sirius took a ragged breath and continued on with his dreadful news. "Voldemort is becoming more and more desperate to find Harry. There have been rumours that it's become his main—maybe even his only—goal right now. He sees Harry as his ultimate threat, and he wants him…" Sirius looked down at the child he held and then back at James before continuing; he avoided Lily's eyes. "He wants Harry extinguished," he finished.

"So Dumbledore sent you to warn us?" Lily asked, placing her hands in her lap in an attempt to stop them from trembling.

"No," Sirius said with a sigh. "Dumbledore doesn't know I'm here. I've come because I'm concerned about Harry's safety as long as I'm your Secret Keeper. It's fairly common knowledge that I'm the lad's godfather and that there's nothing I wouldn't do for the three of you, and I worry how long it will be before the Death Eaters decide that I'm the easiest route to you two as well as to Harry."

"We trust you with our lives," James said with no hesitation. "I know you'd never give us up."

"Well, I wish I was as certain of my strength as you are, mate. If I'm tortured, how long before I break? And the thought that I might do something—anything—to put any of you in danger, well, it's becoming too much. I worry about it constantly. I want you to change your Secret Keeper. I want it to be someone that won't be suspected by Voldemort's henchmen. Someone who isn't me. My knowing where you are has become a danger, I fear."

"Remus then?" Lily asked. "We'll change it to Remus," she said with more confidence. "Remus would never—"

Sirius interrupted. "Remus is vulnerable at specific times of the month. He can't control the cycles of the moon. He has to go away for every full moon, and the chances of his being captured are far greater than… well, others. Remus is not a good idea. I think he would be just as much a threat to your safety as I would."

"I don't like where this is going," James said, his voice low with concern.

"I want you to choose Peter. No one would ever suspect that you'd trust him with your whereabouts. He's quiet, keeps to himself, few people even think of him when they think of us—our little group of friends. His ability to be so easily overlooked would serve you well, I think," Sirius said. He smiled and made an attempt at levity. "He's not like me. With looks like this, it's impossible to hide in the shadows, eh?"

No one laughed. Not even Sirius.

"It won't be for long," he said. "We're closing in on Voldemort. We really are. But right now, things are really—well, they're bad out there, and I'm worried about you." Sirius stroked Harry's wispy hair and pinched his chubby cheek affectionately as he smiled down at the child on his lap. "It's for Harry; he needs us to be smart about this."

It only took looking at the sincerity in Sirius's expression to convince Lily that this was the right thing to do. Sirius wouldn't give over their protection lightly. He rarely trusted anyone that much, and he loved James like a brother and Harry like a son, so if he was willing to do this it was because he truly felt it was for the best. She nodded in Sirius's direction. "I agree," she said. "If Sirius thinks this will keep Harry safe, then I agree."

James ran his hand through his already dishevelled hair and groaned. "I don't like this. Something just feels wrong. I think it should be you, but I—well, you know I have complete trust in you. You really think Peter's the right choice?"

"I don't think there is a 'right' choice. But I think Peter's the best choice there is."

James nodded in reluctant agreement. "Okay," he said, looking at Lily with worried eyes. "What do we need to do?"

"Nothing. Don't do anything. I don't want anyone else to know that I'm no longer your Secret Keeper. It will be safer that way, I think. I'm not even telling Moony."

"You can't think Remus is a spy for Voldemort!" Lily was aghast at even the suggestion.

"Of course, I don't!" Sirius defended. Then he shook his head as if defeated. "Honestly, I don't even know what I believe anymore. But I'm not making a mistake that might cost you all your lives simply because I trust the wrong person. I'm keeping quiet about this. I'm not telling anyone except Peter—not even Dumbledore. It'll just be for the best." Sirius stood and kissed Harry's forehead. "You be good, little man. I'll see you as soon as this is all over." He grinned as Harry made an attempt to grab his nose. "Don't you go and forget about me, okay? And no growing up! You got that? I plan to be here for all of that, so you stay just as you are until you see me again. It won't be long."

Lily thought she saw Sirius wipe away a tear when he handed Harry over to her. "We'll do the spell tonight," he said, "and then you'll be safe. All of you." He chucked her under the chin as James often did, when she began to cry. "Chin up, Lily. Nothing will happen to you as long as I'm around. I promise."

"I trust you," she whispered.

"Not anymore," Sirius said with a smile. "Trust Peter."

"Okay," she replied. "I will."

* * *

Three months later, their little home in Godric's Hollow, which had served as both prison and safe place for so many months, was a pile of rubble. Their bodies were simply part of the tally in a war that had taken so many, and their child was an unwitting hero.


End file.
